Saturday, January 14, 2012

What Albert Pujols Taught Me About the 5 Stages of Grief



There are certain moments that stick with us for the rest of our lives.  Some of the time we recognize these moments as we are living in them but even more of these moments come and go without being registered consciously.  My first memories of Albert Pujols fall in the latter category.  I can remember running home from school that day and for good reason.  April 2, 2001 brought with it the joy and breathless anticipation of opening day.  Not unlike every other year, this date was the true marker for the beginning of summer for baseball fans everywhere.  It was a day that held the promise that warm days were only right around the corner. 

On this day, the name Pujols meant very little to me.  In fact, I did a double take when I saw such an odd name in the starting line-up.  Who was this guy?  Where did he come from?  How the hell do I pronounce that “J” in the middle of his name?  It did not take long before I figured out not only how to pronounce his last name, but also that the player I was watching mature was one of the most consistent and talented players the game had ever seen.  Over the years, my breath was taken away more than once by his heroics.  He would come up again and again with big hits against pitchers that I otherwise believed to be untouchable, reinforcing the feeling that the Cardinals always had a chance because they had the best player on the field.

On December 8, 2011, this relationship which had inspired Cardinal's fans to cheer louder and with more excitement than for any player not named Stan Musial was over.  Pujols had made the decision to take his Babe Ruth sized bat and Hank Aaron like consistency to the west coast.  At least I will not have to go through the pain of seeing him play for another National League team, but the feelings of betrayal still linger almost a month later.  It has taken me about this long to get through the 5 stages of grief on my path to acceptance that Pujols is gone.  I know it sounds odd to talk about watching a baseball player leave using these theories, but for someone who had not seen his 15th birthday when Albert Pujols began his run of brilliance, it somehow feels appropriate. 

Denial: 
As a student in graduate school during finals week, I had stayed up the entire night before the Pujols defection in order to study for my first final exam of the year.  I studied, yes, but I would be lying if I claimed that the test the next day held even close to my full attention.  The Pujols contract was about to be settled, and my night was filled with optimism that I would be pleased with the outcome.  At the time I had heard nothing about the dark horse from the west coast that was speaking in my childhood hero's ear, luring him away from a fan base that would appreciate him more than anywhere else possibly could.  I somehow picked the exact moment that the signing was announced to turn off the computer that was feeding me updates with my constant, almost obsessive-compulsive clicking of my web browser's refresh button.  After checking only seconds before turning off the computer, my phone exploded with texts spilling the news of El Hombre’s decision to leave.  There was no part of me that wanted to believe this sad truth.  I waited the rest of the morning, constantly checking my phone in hopes that Bud Selig would jump in as if it were the NBA and declare the deal void because of what it would do to my hopes and dreams.  Unfortunately, that text never came.

Anger:
It did not take long for the second wave of emotions to hit.  To put it frankly… it took only seconds before I was flat-out ticked off.  I was angry at the Cardinals, the Angels, Pujols, and anyone else who I could claim had something to do with the events that had transpired.  All too quickly, I found myself wishing for the Angels to end up in last place and for Albert to tell the world that he is actually 38 years old but more than willing still to take the money.  Some of this anger will always be there.  Why did the Cardinals not offer Albert more money two years ago before the likes of Ryan Howard was so vastly overpaid?  Why wouldn’t Albert sign for less money to stay here in St. Louis where he had never heard the faintest whisper of a boo?  How much money could it possibly take to leave a fan base that had loved you unconditionally from the second you made your major league debut?  More questions than answers only caused my anger to grow.

Bargaining: 
Not long after Pujols signed, I realized that the Cardinal’s would now have $20+ million to spend, and there had to be all kinds of possibilities right?  I wasted little time to look at the free agent pools for not only this year, but for the next few off seasons to come.  It didn’t take long to realize what I had feared all along: there is only one Albert Pujols…

Depression:
 The feeling of sadness has been the longest lasting.  For all the reasons I was angry, the realization that there was nothing that could be done has hit home.  I will never again see Albert Pujols wearing the correct shade of red in Busch Stadium for as long as I live.  It is a tough pill to swallow.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this sadness was not because I believed the Cardinals would now somehow be doomed to fail, or even that I would not be able to see Pujols when I go to a game next season.  The real sadness came with the realization that Pujols would no longer be ours.  He will never again be looked at as the face of the Cardinals franchise, and that above all else, is why the loss of Albert Pujols has been so difficult.

I am a man in my mid-20’s.  I have never seen Stan Musial play in person.  The closest I have or will ever come is watching old highlight tapes from nearly the birth of the video camera, and yet I have been told stories about The Man for as long as I can remember.  As the hero of my father, I have consumed myself with reading anything I could get my hands on about Stan Musial.  In my bedroom, I can still see a picture of me standing next to Musial’s locker as it was set up at the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown.  Through my father, Stan Musial had become my hero without ever seeing an at-bat.  This season I was fortunate enough to be in the stadium for playoff games in both the NLCS and World Series, and I looked around with tears in my eyes as Stan made his triumphant ride to home plate to the music from The Natural and in the midst of more than 45,000 fans who were still mystified by the presence of The Man.  To feel that much emotion for a man who was a generation into his retirement by the time I was born cannot be common.  This is how it is in St. Louis, though.  At least this is how it has been for me. 

Watching Pujols walk out the door, it was impossible not to think about how I had lost this special relationship with my future children as my father had with.  For 50 million dollars, Pujols traded in the opportunity to one day be carted out well past the time when he could hit a baseball and still with more money than he could have spent in ten lifetimes.  In whatever version of Busch Stadium the Cardinals franchise will be playing in at that time, fans with grandparents who had seen him take his first at-bats would stand and applaud the man for the legend he had become.  It is not hard to imagine a stadium filled with the red, looking down at a frail old Albert Pujols as he is helped out of a cart saying, “There goes The Man.  There goes the greatest player who ever lived.  He is St. Louis, and St. Louis will always be Albert Pujols.”  Through tears they would chant his name as I was yelling for Stan Musial.  

Acceptance: 
Albert Pujols deserved the contract that he was given, and I have no doubt he will be loved in Anaheim/Los Angeles/California/whatever other title will be put in front of Angels over his next 10 years there.  I truly hope he thrives there.  My ill-wishes have faded, and the acceptance of a lineup without its rock batting third has set in.  I have not yet decided how I will be able to tell my children and their children about Albert Pujols.  In time I suspect his play on the field and multiple championships will dominate the conversation more than his time spent on the west coast, but he will never fulfill the promise that he once had to become my generation's Stan Musial.  I am proud to say that I saw Albert Pujols playing at his best.  It is my children who have been robbed of a hero.

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